


Once in a Blue Moon

by tigersharktimes



Series: Lunation [11]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Biting, Breaking Up & Making Up, Canon Related, Episode: s04e12 Smoke & Mirrors, Lacrosse, M/M, Marking, Mexico, Nogitsune Trauma, POV Derek, POV Stiles, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-10 00:46:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5562301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigersharktimes/pseuds/tigersharktimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened when Stiles fears Derek is going to die?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once in a Blue Moon

  
"Derek is here."  
  
"What?" Stiles almost jumped off the bench. "No way. Derek doesn´t care for Lacrosse."  
  
"There." Kira pointed at the corner far away on the highest benchrow. "See for yourself."  
  
Stiles didn´t look. He just peeked from the corner of his eyes. Yet that was enough to confirm that Kira was right. Stiles would recognize that shape anywhere. What the hell? Why was Derek here? What did he want? He was nervous enough without Derek watching the game and witnessing his failure. Yeah. Yet he couldn´t stop the smile spreading over his face. Derek´s presence always made him feel in high spirits.  
  
Since he had learned every supernatural creature in Beacon Hills was in danger of getting killed Stiles couldn´t stop worrying about Derek. He just got him back for fuck´s sake. He wouldn´t stand and watch anyone hurt Derek again. He couldn´t bear the thought of Derek suffering no matter that they had separated on bad terms yesterday. Really? Did that happen just yesterday? Were he and Derek Hale making out less then twenty-four hours ago? He pinched himself to get rid of the surreal feeling. Okay. Okay. I´m okay.  
  
"I just talked to Derek in the locker room," Scott said, elbowing his ribs. "He was weird."  
  
_Duh!_ "In what way?" he said, playing with his stick.  
  
"He smiled. He never does that."  
  
"Good for him," he muttered. Well, he didn´t want to gloat but he was proud that Derek was in such a good mood, particularly after they had sex, though their goodbye hadn´t been a happy one. _Fuck, Derek. Why-_  
  
"The last time I saw Derek attending a Lacrosse game was the day I shifted for the first time," Scott remembered. "So, what brings him here today?" He winked at Stiles. "Is it because of you? The shirt you were wearing this morning smelled a lot like Derek."  
  
"What? No." He flew off the handle, almost smashing his stick into Kira´s face.  
  
"Hey! Careful," Kira advised in her usual friendly manner.  
  
"I haven´t seen him in ages," Stiles hissed at Scott, huddling over the stick.  
  
"You´re lying," Scott said, sounding surprised.  
  
"I´m not."  
  
"Liar."  
  
"Stop that."  
  
"Stop lying then."  
  
"Fine," he grumbled. The coach had called Kira onto the field but Liam was still sitting close by. Scott´s pet with a bad temper couldn´t know about him and Derek. Not ever if he could help it. He just didn´t trust Liam. "I went to the loft yesterday to see if he was okay."  
  
"And...?"  
  
"...nothing, okay? Nothing happened. We just talked for a bit."  
  
"Liar," Scott said, and chuckled.  
  
"Shut up," he said, hands clenching around his stick.  
  
"What about Malia?"  
  
"Are you seriously asking me that with all the shit that´s happening? I have no time to take care of personal matters."  
  
"Oh, it´s personal?" Scott quipped.  
  
"It´s nothing, okay? Don´t create-"  
  
"Bilinski! On the field!" the coach yelled.  
  
Stiles jerked off the bench. _Oh God. No. No. No. Why for god´s sake? Why today?_ He stumbled onto the field, forcing himself not to look up at Derek. He felt lousy. That he sucked at Lacrosse was nothing Derek should see. His dad watching his constant failures was bad enough but Derek... Damn!  
  
"You´re toast," the biggest bully from the other team flamed him.  
  
"Probably," Stiles agreed, gripping his stick so tight his knuckles hurt. _Derek´s watching. Derek´s watching. Derek´s w-_ The referee blew the whistle. The ball was free. He started running like a mad dog, flailing his stick, almost knocking himself out. Gee! He was hyperventilating, stampeding over the grass, yelling like a looney. _Why? Why? Why?_ Oh my God! Kira threw the damn ball right at him. Holy God! Oh! Hey! He caught it like a pro. The crowd cheered. Whatever! Their approval didn´t matter. Derek was here. He couldn´t fuck up in front of Derek. Right! He kept on running, running, oh god, breathe, and then he shot the ball. Not that he aimed. He just threw it away from him. _Holy Crap!_ His erratic fit of despair actually paid off. He scored. The crowd exploded cheering. He stopped frozen, heart pumping madly. What the fuck? How had he done that? What the hell happened? The team surrounded him, patting his back and shoulders. He caught a glimpse of the coach gawking. Gosh! He shrugged awkwardly like he´d done something wrong and needed to apologize.  
  
"Wow!" Scott yelled from the bench. "That was awesome! How did you do that?"  
  
"I don´t know." He looked up at Derek. But Derek was gone. His shoulders slumped. "I felt inspired." Stupid. Yeah. That´s what I am. A stupid lovesick teenage boy. Gah! He hated his life.  
  


******************************

  
On the verge of going feral Derek paced the room. If he only could. The creeping disappearance of his werewolf powers was something he had never imagined having to deal with. For nights on end he had been lying awake in bed, agonizing about his options. Burnt out he went to a Lacrosse game to see how Stiles was doing and perhaps to stock up on some of the energy the spirited brat had so much of. Well. The annoying spazz was doing just fine. He was there with Malia. The girlfriend! Derek huffed. His joy that Stiles scored brilliantly was ruined by her presence. Right. Stiles didn´t miss him. Still. Shouldn´t he be happy for Stiles and Malia? She was his cousin. She was family. A Hale. If anyone could handle a werewolf, and more importantly, a Hale, it was Stiles. No. He was not happy for them. He was stupidly jealous and left the game early. He went to seek help from Chris Argent instead of Stiles. He dared to trust the former enemy to be an ally in his ordeal rather than the boy who had saved him more than once. His bold decision was sort of reasonable because Chris was the only one who had at least a chance of finding Kate. She had always loved and trusted her brother no matter what. Anyway Derek didn´t want to burden Scott or Stiles with his problems. Not now when they already had the deadpool list to deal with. He protected them by not telling them a thing. He would solve this without them. He would avoid running into them. So they would never know, well, Stiles would never know. Right. Good plan. One of many which didn´t go the way he wanted.  
  
They were called to the animal clinic shortly after. Deaton needed assistance treating the werewolf boy Brett who had been poisoned with wolf´s bane.  
  
Not that Derek didn´t try to stick to the plan by barely speaking to Stiles. Okay. Fine. Derek actually lied to him.  
  
"Hey," Stiles said, looking anywhere but into his eyes. "How are you?"  
  
"I´m fine." _Except for the fact that I´m not feeling like me anymore. Except for my fears of losing myself forever. Except for the need to fuck you against the wall to prove that I´m still the same creature._ Right. Not a good idea to say stuff like that in front of Deaton or Peter. Not okay to have such needs at all.  
  
"I don´t believe you," Stiles replied, heartbeat speeding up. "What is it, huh? Why can´t you trust me?"  
  
"It has nothing to do with you," Derek snarled. Unfortunately he sounded more like he was whining. "It´s my problem. Not yours."  
  
"Yeah, right!" Stiles scowled, and shrugged. "Whatever. Did you get the list I sent to you?"  
  
"I did."  
  
"Aren´t you concerned just one bit?"  
  
"No," Derek said gruffly.  
  
"What about Liam, huh?" Stiles didn´t let him get away. He blocked the exit. "Do you know that Scott turned someone who is suffering from I.E.D.?"  
  
"I saw them before the game. I think that Scott is more than able to handle Liam." Derek noticed that Peter had turned his attention to them. "After all he´s an _Alpha_." His voice cracked. _Unlike me._ He tried to skirt around Stiles. "I gotta go."  
  
Stiles didn´t move an inch. He breathed right into Derek´s face. "Yeah? About that. What were you doing there anyway? You don´t even like Lacrosse." The big, brown, doe eyes were begging for an explanation.  
  
Derek stared at the familiar moles speckling the beloved face just a kiss away. You want me to spell it out for you? No way. Not in front of Peter. "I was looking out for Malia," he snapped, and pushed Stiles aside. He needed to get away. The distinctive sound of Stiles´s heartbeat was still enough to make him lose his shit. Though he couldn´t catch any scent anymore the confusion and hurt in Stiles´s face were piercing his soul. No. He couldn´t deal with that right now. He´d got bigger problems to handle, like why he wasn´t healing as he used to. Right. He rushed back to the loft, hiding, brooding. He went back to being alone.  
  
The next day he sought out Malia to help him find Satomi´s pack which had a secret meeting place in the woods. He had no choice because he couldn´t do it himself anymore, could he? Malia was not only capable of following a scent but she also rubbed in the trust she had in Stiles. "Maybe we need to think like Stiles."  
  
Derek cringed. "Like a hyperactive spazz?"  
  
"Like a detective. If they are really Buddhist then maybe instead of asking where werewolves would hide we should be asking..."  
  
"...where would Buddhists hide?"  
  
So. None-present Stiles helped them to figure out where to look for the pack. They found them dead, though. Only one person was still alive. Braeden. The mercenary. She was badly wounded. Naturally he took care of her. His mom hadn´t raised a brute lacking basic manners.  
  
What happened after was unusual and could have been caused by his self-inflicted solitude. Released from the hospital he let Braeden stay at the loft, a woman he neither knew nor trusted, and finally he even ended up in bed with her.  
  
Well. He was just so fucking lonely. Okay. Fine. He didn´t deny that he liked her. She was attractive and the sex was good. But that was all. Sharing with Stiles was more. Not just sex but everything. Stiles made the hole in his heart that the loss of his family had left go away. Stiles made him stop hurting. On and off he was even able to forget about Paige. Yes. Stiles was able to douse the burning inside of him. Stiles was the one. That´s why despite having an awesome woman lying next to him he still couldn´t sleep. He was thinking about the human he´d rather share his bed with. The one he´d share his life with. _An annoying spazz._  
  


*****************************

  
Lydia broke the third key and decoded the final list. But the moment of success meant nothing. For once in his life Stiles didn´t feel any ecstasy over solving a riddle. Banshees predict death. Jesus Christ! That Derek´s name did the miracle implied that Derek was going to die. _What? No. This is not happening, right? This can´t be true. Derek isn´t going to die. Not Derek. Not the wolfman. Not him._  
  
"Stiles. Breathe," Lydia said. "Derek is not dead yet."  
  
Oh God. "We don´t know that. I haven´t talked to him since...since..." He gulped, and leant forward. _Right. Breathe. Breathe!_  
  
"Is that a trick to make me kiss you again?" Lydia said, tongue-in-cheek, patting his back.  
  
That make him jerk up again. "No! Lydia. Come on. I´m..."  
  
"Hey. I´m just teasing you," she said, rubbing his back. "Calm down, please. We´ll figure this out. We won´t let him die."  
  
He looked at her, eyes watering with bitter tears. "I can´t lose him."  
  
"I know, okay?" She hugged him. "I know."  
  
He held on to her, swallowing the tears, not denying a thing. Why should he? Lydia was his friend. Ha! What irony! His once full time crush was comforting him because he feared someone else was going to die. Holy God! Stop thinking that. Derek wouldn´t die. Stiles wouldn´t let him. He would fight anyone who dared to even touch Derek. Yeah. He turned his head to stare at Derek´s photo pinned to the board on the wall. _Okay. Breathe._ He would fight for the man he once wanted to die. He couldn´t even remember why for heaven´s sake. He could barely remember the time before Derek was part of his life.  
  
"We´ll figure this out," Lydia repeated with confidence.  
  
They kept the crucial fact that Derek´s name was the codebreaker between the two of them. Stiles didn´t even tell Scott and he hated keeping secrets from him. Well. His best friend looked as if he already knew - something - and discussing whether to tell Derek about the money they´d found, Stiles was close to spilling the beans. Yeah, he was more than ready to share his feelings, actually hoping for some advice.  
  
Then Malia interrupted their intimate talk and the moment was gone. "We found Satomi´s pack. Derek and I. But they´re dead."  
  
"All of them?" Scott wondered.  
  
"All the ones we´ve found," Malia said, dripping wet.  
  
"Then where is Derek?" Stiles startled, stepping forward. He didn´t care about Satomi´s pack. He cared about Derek. Since the first time he had met Derek in the woods he had become his priority. Sure, kind of selfish, but that´s the way it was.  
  
"We found a woman. Derek calls her Braeden. He brought her to the hospital," Malia said, looking curious.  
  
"Oh," Stiles huffed. The mercenary. Why her of all people? He didn´t trust her. Well. He didn´t trust almost anyone today. "Okay then." He stifled his feelings for Derek and went along with his friends. He should´ve known better. Never put off talking to a loved one.  
  
They went over to the school where a shitstorm broke lose. They stumbled upon an outbreak and were put under quarantine. Having no connection to the world outside Stiles figured that now he didn´t have a chance in hell of warning Derek even if he´d decided to do so. Yeah, well. Life´s a bitch.  
  


******************************

  
Derek heard the soft noise only because he was awake. He had lost his supernatural hearing ability a few hours ago. Neither could he scent the person who was entering the loft, though he was able to sneak over to the door, catching a shadow sweeping in. Is it time? Is death coming for me? Is it over? He charged at the intruder and slammed him into the wall.  
  
"Ah, crap! Derek! It´s me," Stiles hissed, lashing out. "Use your senses."  
  
_I wish I could._ Derek let out a breath of air. "Sorry." He didn´t let go but absorbed every detail of Stiles with his eyes alone. The messy hair, the spooked expression, the lush lips, and the long fingers clutching at his shirt. "What is it?"  
  
"I ran into Kate," Stiles whispered, and then he shook from head to toe.  
  
_Kate! No! Did she touch Stiles? Had she dared?_ Derek´s vision turned red, werewolf or not, and he edged his teeth along the collarbone of his lover. Ah...this need...the need to bite him...mark him...he mouthed at the vein pulsing underneath the skin. "You...I need...are you here to...are you... do you want me?" Derek forced himself onto Stiles, cupping him and squeezing. "I bet you came here to be marked...to be mine...."  
  
"Derek What the hell?" Stiles fought the possessive grip. "What´s going on? W-"  
  
"You...fidgety…annoying…infuriating-"  
  
"Yeah…you drive me crazy too," Stiles snapped back, and once again tried to get Derek off of him.  
  
That made Derek blind with fury. That this boy - _his_ boy - tried to get away from him. Stiles had never done that before. Derek couldn´t let that happen. Stiles belonged to him. _Stiles._ He bit down. _Is. Mine._ Hard. He ripped the skin and the flesh. He sunk his teeth in. He marked. He devoured.  
  
Stiles cut off on a strangled yell. He arched up and...and...  
  
The sweet taste of blood made Derek come back to his senses. "Sorry." He licked at the wound, lapping most of the blood off, trying to mend the damage. "I didn´t want to hurt you."  
  
"What the fuck, Derek? Was that smart? Do you want to turn me?"  
  
With a low snarl Derek tore his mouth away. "I'd never do that without your consent," he growled, furious with himself. How could he let that happen? How could he forget everything he had been taught? Talia would be gravely disappointed. "Are you okay?"  
  
"No. I´m not okay, you asshole!" Stiles pushed him back. "I´m bleeding. Crap! A werewolf bit me. I´m gonna die like every supernatural creature in Beacon Hills."  
  
"No. You won´t."  
  
"What? What do you mean? What´s going _on_?" Stiles choked on a miserable note and the stress made the sound hiccup into something filled with pain and hysteria.  
  
"I´m not a wolf anymore. I have no powers left." _Exactly. None at all. Gone. I´m nobody. Not wolf. Not human. Not anybody._  
  
"Bullshit! You´re just trying to make me feel sorry for you." Stiles pressed a hand to his collarbone.  
  
"If you say so." Derek was looking over his shoulder. Was Braeden still asleep? Was she listening to this? Did Stiles know she was here? "Why did you come here? What do you want?"  
  
"I told you. I ran into Kate. I thought you should know." He licked his lips. "I heard what happened with Satomi and wanted to check on you."  
  
"I´m fine," he said, while he felt the injury just underneath his ribcage itching. No. He was not healing. No. He was not fine. No. He won´t tell.  
  
"Who´s back there? What are you hiding?"  
  
"Just a friend."  
  
"A friend, huh?" Stiles snorted. "I don´t need to be a werewolf to know you´re lying."  
  
"How´s Malia?" He didn´t even try to keep the anger in his voice down. He was frustrated and scared. Yeah, right. He had every reason. He was _fading_ away.  
  
"She broke up with me because I didn´t tell her about Peter."  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"Yeah, ass-wolf!" Stiles spat, pushing him further back. "I-" His cell rang. He took the call. His eyes went big and round. "OH MY GOD!"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"None of your business." He ran out, grazing his shoulder on the door.  
  
_Ouch!_ Derek winced in sympathy.  
  
The next second Braeden was at his side, her gun ready. "Derek? What happened? What did he want?"  
  
"Nothing that concerns you."  
  


***************************

  
For hours Stiles had wriggled around in the uncomfortable hospital chair watching his dad sleep. Yeah, well...no wonder he was feeling restless. Derek had slept with Braeden. Malia wasn´t talking to him. His dad was cross with him because Stiles wanted to take care of him. Dude! The old man had been shot, for god´s sake. No, it was not life threatening but still he felt on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Only one good thing had happened in the last hours. He had finally confessed to Scott that Derek´s name had been the third key and that his life was in danger. Scott had promised to talk to Derek. Yeah, he knew he should do that himself. He knew his constant brooding was not healthy. He knew he was not himself. So what? Had being possessed by the nogitsune changed him? Had he lost his fun-loving nature for good? Or had it always been fake?  
  
His dad had woken up. "What´s going on, son? You look troubled?"  
  
_Duh!_ Stiles gawked. "I have every reason."  
  
"Not just because of me." The sheriff pushed himself into a sitting position. "I don´t want to be nosy but what happened between you and Malia? I know something is not right."  
  
"I - we - she broke up with me." Yeah, sure, though we never talked about it.  
  
"I see. Is that because of Derek?"  
  
"What? No." Sure it is. Time for a reality check. "Derek is not...uh..." _Gosh! Lie faster. Lie better._  
  
"Stiles!"  
  
"Derek and I are not...not..."  
  
"You and Derek Hale are the opposite of _not_ in every way," the sheriff crowed over his babbling but paid with a grimace.  
  
_Play nice. He´s in pain._ "Are you mad at me?" Stiles plucked at his sleeves. "Again?"  
  
"Not about Derek. About you lying to Malia. She deserves better."  
  
"You´re right. I like Malia. But Derek is..." Yes? Derek is what? "...I´m still figuring him out." _He bit me, man. I´m lucky the mark is under my shirt._  
  
"I understand. But you should stay honest."  
  
"I´ll try."  
  
He couldn´t, though. But that wasn´t exactly his fault. His crazy life got in the way again. He and Lydia went to Eichen House and there things got damn ugly. In the end they were lucky that Deputy Parrish saved them from certain death, and he got away with only a concussion. After he had received medical treatment he wanted to leave the hospital but Melissa ordered him to stay. He didn´t dare to tell her he wanted to check on Derek. He wasn´t ready to come out. Then Malia showed up and ended his sulking by kissing him. Hey! What the hell? Was he forgiven? Were they back together? Did he want for that to happen? Once again they didn´t talk about it, just Malia was more tender now, and more loving. Crap! She tried to be her best and he was craving for Derek. Yeah. That was his life. A disaster.  
  
Back at home he slept a lot, having many disturbing dreams. The nogitsune was back inside of him. Allison rose from the dead. Scott stopped talking to him. And Derek was nowhere to be found. He wasn´t sure why those images were haunting him now. Maybe because he almost got killed. Maybe he was depressed in some way. Maybe he should finally make a choice. _Yeah, maybe, my ass._  
  
Anyway, Scott and Derek grew closer and he and Derek drifted further and further apart. He kept sucking at Lacrosse, well, Derek was not watching, so he wasn´t in the mood to give all he´d got. _Duh!_ In the middle of the game he was ripped from his comatose state by devastating news. Scott and Kira had gone missing from Derek´s loft of all places. He didn´t waste a second to ask stupid questions but rushed over there, his dad in tow.  
  
The first thing he noticed on arriving was Derek coming towards him. A desperate need to touch him washed over Stiles, and he was drawn to Derek like a moth to a flame. "What the hell happened?"  
  
But Braeden blocked his way.  
  
"It was supposed to be a date," Derek said.  
  
"They were both here?" his dad said.  
  
"And they are both gone," Braeden said, looking pissed.  
  
What´s the matter with you? Stiles marveled. What did I ever do to you? Hey! If looks could kill I´d drop dead right now. What´s going on? What do you know or think you know?  
  
Derek just stood there, acting awkward as fuck.  
  
_What the hell, man?_ Before Stiles could even consider what to say next he got a call from Lydia. She and Deaton figured that Scott and Kira had been taken to Mexico. He hung up. "We need to go to Mexico. We need any help we can get."  
  
"We need a van," Braeden realized, "I´ll go and get one." She gave Derek a nod and rushed out.  
  
"I have to make a few calls," the sheriff added, and followed her.  
  
_Oops!_ Sudden unwanted privacy. Stiles was rubbing the back of his neck. "Why didn´t you tell me, huh? Why did you tell Scott...uh...about losing yourself?"  
  
Derek snorted. "I _did_ tell you."  
  
"Derek!" He sailed into him, standing close so that their noses were almost touching. "I won´t let you go through this alone."  
  
"Since when do you care?"  
  
"What?" _That guy! I can´t even begin to list all his faults._ "Are you fucking serious?"  
  
"I haven´t seen a lot of you lately. I don´t remember you telling me about the third key. Scott did."  
  
_Ho!_ "Did he?" Stiles blustered. "Maybe I didn´t know _how_ for fuck´s sake! Don´t you get that, stupid asswolf?!"  
  
Derek´s lips curled into a smile. "Nice to have you back."  
  
"Ha-Ha!" Stiles put a hand on his chest right above his heart. _God, will that ever stop? The need to touch him?_ "I fucking care about you, you moron. I care so much I almost went mental worrying about you. I don´t know why, though."  
  
"I know," Derek said, his smile fading, but he didn´t pull away.  
  
"Fuck. Let me tell you something. This is not about me wanting to get into your pants. There is more to you than your looks."  
  
"Is that right?" Derek swallowed.  
  
"You consider me that shallow? What about Braeden, huh? Don´t tell me there is nothing going on between you two." He plucked at Derek´s shirt. _I miss you. I miss you so much._ "Why did she look at me as if I did something wrong? I hardly know her. Why does she hate me?"  
  
Derek´s eyebrows squished together. "She doesn´t hate you."  
  
"Are you sure?" He fisted Derek´s shirt, downright tearing the seam at the shoulders.  
  
"It´s just... it´s my fault." Derek got hold of his wrist, keeping him from doing more damage. "I might have..."  
  
"What?" He blinked. The light caress of his wrist was distracting. "You might have what?"  
  
"Quiet." Derek stepped away from him.  
  
The sheriff came back in. "Come on, boys. We have a lot to plan, and not much time."  
  
Stiles let go of Derek, getting a glimpse of his dad shaking his head. Yeah, right. First the troublesome task of convincing his dad to let him go. Second a long and tiring trip to Mexico, and sharing hours and hours with Braeden in the same van at that. He grimaced. Crap! He couldn´t wait. This was going to be so much fun.  
  


******************************

  
They had barely assembled before Stiles and Braeden started snapping at each other.  
  
"We´re really bringing him?" Derek interfered, pointing at Liam. Okay. Fine. Stiles was right. Braeden didn´t like him.  
  
"We´re really bringing him?" Stiles countered, pointing at Peter.  
  
Derek backed down and let Peter do the talking. He knew the situation between Stiles and Braeden was his fault. Things he had said and done, like on the night he had bitten Stiles, but that didn´t matter right now. Scott and Kira needed them. Also, Liam was experiencing his first full moon. That boy needed all the help he could get to find an anchor. Having no werewolf powers left Derek doubting he could succeed with any of the challenges waiting ahead.  
  
He was glad Stiles came along to help, though he couldn´t understand why Stiles didn´t prefer to drive with Malia. Having Stiles around gave him the needed strength to hang in there. He didn´t want to do this alone. He was tired of carrying the burden alone. Well, he was tired of _being_ alone, wasn´t he?  
  
At sundown Derek handcuffed Liam to the wall of the van. Next he put the triskelis symbol in his hand, the one Peter had once used to make him find his own anchor. "I brought something to help you. This has been with my family for centuries. It´s a very powerful, supernatural talisman. We use it to teach betas how to control themselves during the full moon." A lie, but sometimes a lie was more helpful than the truth. He looked at Stiles to confirm what he had just said to Liam.  
  
Stiles stared back. Silent. Incredulous. Valiant.  
  
Derek jerked his head at him. _Come on! Say something. I´m counting on you._ He wished he could scent him. He wished Stiles wouldn´t tempt him. Sure. He might as well cry for the moon.  
  
"Yes. It´s powerful." Stiles cleared his throat. "It´s very powerful."  
  
_Good. Keep at it._ Derek breathed relief. Stiles knew he was lying. He had once told him about the symbol owning no power. Still Stiles played along. He knew what was at stake. Derek wanted to touch him to let him know how grateful he was. No. Not the time. He needed to focus. The full moon was already climbing high in the sky, spreading its magic. Derek turned his attention back to Liam. "Okay, look at the triskelion. See the symbol? I have a tattoo on my back. It´s the same thing. Each spiral means something."  
  
"Alpha, Beta, Omega," Stiles chipped in.  
  
Unlike in the past his interference made Derek feel confident rather than disgruntled. Stiles and his quirks. He was the reason Derek could go on. Stiles was the reason he was able to endure Liam´s attack which came soon enough. Neither the symbol nor the mantra Derek was repeating worked to keep Liam from shifting. Stiles was the reason he could take the pain Liam was causing him with his claws. Stiles needed to be protected at all costs. Stiles needed to stay alive. Derek could bear getting hurt if he could keep Stiles safe. He had no supernatural powers left but he would go down fighting for Stiles, even dying if he had to.  
  
Stiles kept his head. He helped Derek as much as he could to keep Liam at bay. "I don´t think Alpha, Beta, Omega is resonating with him."  
  
"Do you know any other mantras?" Derek´s voice was cracking. He couldn´t hold Liam back much longer. He was close to being ripped apart by a cub barely born.  
  
"Yeah, I do," Stiles said, and taught Liam the mantra of the sun, the moon, and the truth, the three things that cannot long be hidden.  
  
The miracle happened. Liam calmed down and let go. Good. Derek wouldn´t die.  
  
Stiles patted his right shoulder.  
  
Derek slumped back against the wall of the van. Stiles´s touch had not lost its magic, considering he was not a werewolf anymore. Stiles was his anchor. Now and forever. Stiles was the one.  
  
"We´re one hell of a team, huh?" Stiles murmured, leaning in.  
  
"Forever," Derek granted, sniffing him. He didn´t need any powers to catch the familiar aroma of curly fries and peppermint gum, plus a warmth that was intoxicating.  
  
Stiles didn´t shy away, and for a spell they were an exclusive pack of two.  
  
Shortly after they arrived at the church in Mexico. Liam was calm enough to talk reasonably. "For a minute there I thought I would tear the two of you apart."  
  
"Yeah, that would have made for an awkward ride home, so, thanks," Stiles quipped.  
  
Derek nodded in agreement. _Your way of putting things always makes my heart lighter. Don´t you ever lose that. Don´t you ever lose yourself like I´m about to._  
  
Liam unsheathed his claws to prove his control.  
  
"I wouldn’t mind actually being able to do that," Stiles said, and then he looked at Derek.  
  
What does that mean? Derek wondered. Does Stiles want to be a werewolf after all? Is he asking me to give him the bite? I can´t, you know? I´m not an Alpha anymore. Well, I´m not even a Beta. I wouldn´t be able to do a thing about it. Horrible sadness swept over him, a sensation so strong that even a recently bitten werewolf like Liam might be able to scent it. Derek didn´t want to share his innermost feelings with a boy who was basically a stranger, regardless he was one of his kind. He jumped out of the van.  
  
He didn´t see the attack coming, no, he only felt a force slamming into him, over and over again. Pain! An _awful lot_ of pain spiked through him. He didn´t have a chance to get up and fight back. He was hurt. He was hurt bad. No merciful oblivion came over him. He was beaten into the ground, slashed into pieces. He was as good as dead. Suddenly. Gunshots. The beating stopped. He dropped to the ground. Seconds later Braeden was kneeling at his side, looking horrified. He groaned. Where is _he_? I want to see _him_ , if only one more time. There. Stiles looked frantic with fear. Derek tried to speak and couldn´t. Stiles kept staring at him, eyes full of terror.  
  
"How bad is it?" Peter said in a hushed tone.  
  
"I’m fine, I´m fine," he croaked, convulsing with pain. No. He was far from fine. He was dying. That didn´t matter anymore, though. "Just get to Scott. Just find him. I´ll be right behind you. Go."  
  
Nobody was moving, least of all Stiles. He was still frozen to the spot where he was standing, staring at him.  
  
"Go!" he shouted. Idiots! Scott needed them. What were they waiting for? He was not important. Scott was. He was the Alpha.  
  
Peter turned around and ran. Liam and Malia followed him. No. Not Stiles.  
  
Damn it! What´s wrong with you? Just go! "Hey. Hey. Save him," he murmured, hurting. Oh god. The pain. Excruciating. Yet he couldn´t miss those terrified doe eyes. Stiles bore the misery of seeing him suffer. Derek absorbed the sight. He wanted Stiles´s face to be that last memento before darkness would swallow him up. Before death.  
  
Only now Stiles turned around, but he was trotting rather than running.  
  
_Good._ Derek groaned. "I…" _...ah...please go. I can´t bear to see you watching me die. Not you. Never you. Please. Please._ His eyelids fluttered. He wanted this to be over. _Please be safe._  
  
As if Stiles had heard his soulful pleading he stopped and turned back to look at him once more.  
  
_No. Please go. Please. I can´t...any longer._ Derek gave a low whine. His eyes watered due to the pain and the concern. _Stiles, please._  
  
Stiles, looking devastated, finally turned around and followed the others into the church.  
  
Good. _Good._ Derek had no strength left. He let Braeden take care of him. He could handle having Braeden here. She didn´t own his heart. She wouldn´t break apart seeing him going over to the other side. As long as Stiles was not burdened with seeing him leave this world he was fine. Yes. He was ready.  
  


******************************

  
Derek was alive. Alive! The stubborn asshole had died but had been reborn changed into a real wolf. He had regained his powers and the blue eyes of a Beta. Braeden had told Scott, yeah right, not Stiles. Though Derek was back to his human form he had asked to be left alone for a while. He needed to catch his breath.  
  
Yeah, well, Stiles didn´t care but braced himself to confront the man he thought he´d never see again. Hey, man, looking good in those pants and a bright blue shirt. "Derek," he whispered, bewildered. "What the hell? How are you even real?"  
  
"Idiot," Derek snarled, but then he smiled.  
  
_Gee!_ "I heard you can change into a wolf now. Awesome." He leered. "Actually kind of kinky."  
  
Derek rolled his eyes but reached for him, pulling him close.  
  
"Sourwolf," Stiles purred. "Now that the name´s gained a new meaning...."  
  
Derek huffed and sealed his lips shut.  
  
_Okay. Not complaining._ Sucking at the wolf´s lips as if he was starving he felt whole. A sensation he hadn´t felt for some time.  
  
"Oh, sorry, I didn´t know..." Liam yelped, stumbling backwards. "Just ignore me."  
  
"Shit," Stiles said, though he sniggered.  
  
"Yeah," Derek agreed but kept holding him close.  
  
Stiles´s heart skipped a few beats. Yeah, sure, he didn´t mind being caught but that Derek... didn´t make a fuss about it either... Okay... perhaps being caught in the act was petty stuff compared to the mess lying behind Derek. "Come here, big guy."  
  
Some time passed before he and Derek were _eager_ to come out of the van, regrouping with their friends. Stiles didn´t tell Derek that his hair was unusually messy and that part of a bitemark was visible beneath the edge of his collar. So what? He also didn´t care how he must look himself. "Let´s talk more later, okay?"  
  
"Sure." Derek smirked, and went over to talk to Braeden.  
  
"Hey, I thought you two killed each other in there," Scott saluted him.  
  
"What´s up?" Stiles said, licking his lips like there were any visible marks.  
  
"Oh, nothing, just been almost run over by Liam fleeing from the van. He was completely confused. He believed you and Derek don´t like each other much." Scott laughed. "Not the first one who made that mistake."  
  
"What´s your point?" Stiles said, even though he knew what was coming.  
  
"How long have you and Derek been...you know...messing around?"  
  
"We´re not. I´m with Malia."  
  
"Are you sure? Liam said he caught you and Derek kissing like wild beasts." He tilted his head, giving him a meaningful check-up. "Now I´m wondering if you´ve been making out all this time."  
  
"You can´t be serious?" Stiles flailed his arms. "Me and Derek Hale? Come on!"  
  
"Well. Whatever this is. I´m happy for you."  
  
"Aren´t you happy for me and Malia?"  
  
"Aren´t you?" Scott sniffed at his neck.  
  
"W-what are you...damn..." he scowled, "...Derek and I weren´t kissing like beasts. We were pretty civil considering." _Right. He was dying and he begged me to leave him. God, I thought I´d never see him again._  
  
"The mark on his neck proves otherwise."  
  
"Oh, shut up."  
  
"Just saying." Scott winked at him but stopped teasing him when he saw that Malia was coming over to them.  
  
Stiles forced himself to let his girlfriend hug him, trying to get some space between them as fast as possible. He didn´t need to worry. Derek was busy talking to Braeden anyway. The mercenary gazed at Derek. Okay. A teeny spark of jealousy stung his heart. Yeah. He couldn´t wait to go home and get rid of them all. Malia. Scott. Braeden. Liam. He couldn´t wait to talk about a few more things with the reborn wolfman. Talk. Right. He was kidding himself. He wanted to do a lot more than talk. A lot more.  
  


******************************

  
In Beacon Hills Derek told Braeden he had to talk to the sheriff about the actions Peter had taken in Mexico. He knew that she didn´t believe him due to having his improved werewolf senses back. His nose also told him Braeden was not as callous as she pretended to be. Yet he didn´t care to explain himself.  
  
"No problem," she said coolly. "I have to make a few arrangements myself before we go after the desert wolf. Don´t wait up for me. See you tomorrow." She speeded off, leaving him standing at the curb like an ungrateful asshole. Well. He couldn´t argue about that. He got into the Toyota and drove to the Stilinski home. Not finding Stiles or the sheriff there he stopped at the sheriff´s office next. No. He didn´t gloat at the sight of Stiles handcuffed to the desk. "I hope this has nothing to do with me?"  
  
"Shut up and get these off." Stiles rattled at the cuffs, shoving the desk off its spot.  
  
"Are you mad at _me_?"  
  
Stiles raised a mocking eyebrow. "Aren´t you mad at _me_?"  
  
"Why should I be mad?"  
  
"Come on." Stiles shrugged. "Malia."  
  
"Right." He had forgotten about that, dying and all. "Well, that depends. Are you two serious?"  
  
"I don´t know." Stiles pulled at the handcuffs again, deepening the red line marking the skin of his wrist. "I had no time to think about that after I learned you were dying."  
  
"Stop that," Derek advised, and got hold of his wrist. He snapped open the handcuff linked to the desk then clicked it shut around his own wrist.  
  
"What the hell?" Stiles was cuffed to Derek now. "What´s that supposed to mean?"  
  
"I think you and I both need time to come to an agreement," Derek said, tugging him along. "Come on, I´ll give you a ride."  
  
"A ride, huh?" Stiles didn´t struggle but instead followed willingly. "Isn´t that kidnapping? Do you intend to hold me captive? Do you plan to molest me? Wouldn´t _your_ girlfriend mind?"  
  
"Braeden is not my girlfriend. I like her; after all she helped Scott save me from the tomb."  
  
"Did she, huh? She was there because she was paid, not because she cared for you."  
  
"That doesn´t matter. She knows _who_ I want."  
  
"Does she?" Stiles tripped over the curb. "And why´s that, huh?"  
  
"Because I said your name. Happy now?" Derek tugged Stiles inside the Toyota. He started the car and kept his focus on the street. That wasn´t easy sensing the struggle Stiles was going through, yet he didn´t say anything. He just chewed his lip like crazy. Okay. Fine. Derek pushed the gas pedal down, speeding. It was about time to take a crucial step.  
  
Arriving at the loft Stiles broke his silence. "So, did you say my name while you were having sex with her?"  
  
"What?" Derek startled. "No."  
  
"What then?"  
  
"In my sleep," he blurted by accident. "Dreaming."  
  
"Oh." Stiles stopped his frantic chewing. "That´s cool."  
  
Derek rolled his eyes. "It´s not."  
  
Stiles put his hand on Derek´s knee. "Derek. I thought you were going to die. I thought I´d never see you again. I thought... oh god, Derek...," he stuttered, choking the words out. "I d-don´t love you for your body, okay? N-not only. You´re brave and kind and selfless..."  
  
"You _love_ me?" Derek jumped in his seat as if he had been shot.  
  
Stiles pulled his hand back, twitching. "Uh...mmm...no need to freak out, big guy. It´s not a problem I can´t handle, okay?"  
  
Derek didn´t reply but snatched Stiles close by the handcuff and dragged him out of the car.  
  
"OH GOD!" Stiles stumbled along, his free hand flailing for balance. The handcuffs clunked in time with their hurried steps.  
  
"I should spank you for being ridiculously adorable." He pushed Stiles against the wall, grabbing him by the ass, smashing their bodies together. He showed Stiles how hard he already was.  
  
"Holy shit!" Stiles yelped.  
  
" _My_ house, _my_ rules," Derek teased, and then he kissed him, fierce and lush. Aw. The fresh taste of that eager mouth, and the sounds that boy made just kissing him. The sounds kept getting better as Derek got them both naked in a frenzied rush.  
  
Sprawled on the floor Stiles was _gazing_ up at him. "You´re so...I..." He licked his lips. "...want..."  
  
Derek flipped him over and pinned him down, sliding his cock into the delicate ass-crack. "Mm. The moles are a full body experience."  
  
"Oh god, Derek," Stiles squealed, and wriggled against his cock. "Ah. Yes. Come on. Come on."  
  
Derek didn´t hesitate because Stiles was already dripping wet. He slipped inside as easily as he shifted during a full moon. _Grrr!_  
  
"Oh yeah, show me, big bad wolf," Stiles howled, pushing his hips back.  
  
_Fuck._ Derek groaned. The tightness around his cock was almost too much. He fucked deeper inside, feeling every inch of Stiles, feeling alive and - happy. Yes. He pounded Stiles into the ground. Yet the boy whined to get it harder. Harder! Does he even know how gorgeous he looks and how lewd he sounds right now? Derek wondered, feeling his cock twitch and grow. Fine! He snapped the handcuff off his wrist and _slammed_ into Stiles, making him tremble and clench around him. AH! Raw. Rapid. The beast within loved every second of it. Well. He loved Stiles. That was a fact. He loved his mind, his body...  
  
"Oh, yeah...like that," Stiles praised in between heavy gasps, moving his hips obscenely. "Good boy. Good wolf."  
  
_...his cheekiness._ Derek smacked his ass.  
  
"MY GOD!" Stiles´s long fingers scratched across the floor to find something to hold onto.  
  
"Hard enough?" Derek smacked that ass again. The screams he gained in return pushed him to the brink. _Mmm_. He was close. He would fill that cheeky little ass to the brim. He would make that ass his and only his.  
  
"Derek. Please. Fuck _me!_ " Stiles yanked at his cock reaming himself against the floor. _"Please...."_  
  
Derek roared, and partly shifting, neither human nor wolf, he spilled himself into Stiles. _Mine. Mine. Mine._ The tips of his claws were running along Stiles´s hips and thighs, an edge of teeth nipping along the spine. "Mine." He bit into the quivering flesh.  
  
"Oh my God..." Stiles whined. "...yes, Derek...yes, yes, yes!" Stiles came in a mess of sprawled limbs, leaving a distinct stain on the shiny floor.  
  
Derek again left an intimate mark beneath the base of Stiles´s neck.  
  


******************************

  
In the early morning Stiles woke up seeing Derek already getting dressed. So. They had made out. A lot. In the end they had fallen asleep, exhausted but satisfied. Well. Had he expected they would live happily ever after from now on? No. Not at all. This was not a storybook and everything´s eventual, right? In spite of thinking reasonably, he couldn´t fight the bittersweet taste spiking his mouth and heart.  
  
"I don´t know how long this will take," Derek said, keeping his head down. "I don´t know when I´ll be back."  
  
_I hate the crap that is your life._ Stiles pressed his lips together to keep himself from shouting into Derek´s face. He didn´t want to ruin what they had. Not again.  
  
"The search for the desert wolf," Derek murmured, bashful, still not looking at him.  
  
_Yeah. I wonder why...!_ Ah. Fuck it! "With her."  
  
The wolf´s head jerked up. His eyes blazed in deepest blue. "No need to be..."  
  
"...jealous?" Stiles scoffed, though he flat-out was. "Don´t flatter yourself." He bit his lip hard. The pain was insignificant compared to the coming agony of being left alone - again. He wouldn´t cry, though. No. Not a chance.  
  
"I´ll call. I´ll text." Derek shoved his phone into the right back pocket. "I´ll stay in touch."  
  
"Sure, you´re quite the guy with the words," Stiles said, rolling his eyes. Yeah. Sarcasm is _still_ my only defense. The crash after such an incredible night was just too fucking depressing.  
  
"I will." Derek´s eyebrows shot together in a dark bow.  
  
"I bet," Stiles snubbed him, unfazed. He was used to handling a glowering Derek Hale. "Every second you´re not busy running, sulking, or making out with-"  
  
Derek bolted to the bed and hoicked him up.  
  
_Uh...shit!_ No. No throat ripping happened then, but plenty of kissing, though Derek was almost crushing his ribs. "Ouch," he complained in a hushed tone, fisting Derek´s shirt. _Holy god. That tongue. The best thing ever._  
  
"Listen, you annoying spazz. I will stay in touch. Perhaps I didn´t make myself clear last night. I´m bound to you by choice not instinct. You are my best friend. You are more important to me than anyone."  
  
"Friends, huh?" Stiles couldn´t stop the mocking, because he feared he´d break down and cry otherwise. "Yet with benefits."  
  
"I mean it. When all this is over..."  
  
"Yeah? What then?" No. He couldn´t stop the snapping either. "I´ll be off to college and you´ll be here and that´s it then."  
  
"We´ll work it out." Derek sighed, and pressed his lips to Stiles´s ear. "Haven´t we worked out a lot so far? The kanima. The nogitsune. The dead pool."  
  
Stiles wriggled himself out of the consoling embrace, which was the hardest thing he had ever done. "Okay. Fine. Go on then. Leave." No. He wouldn´t beg. He would stay strong. He would be at his best.  
  
"Jesus, Stiles." Derek seized him by the neck and pulled him back into his arms. "Don´t make this any harder."  
  
"How can I not-"  
  
Derek cut him off.  
  
Stiles was mollified by a lingering brush of lips that made his spine tingle, particularly the mark at the top. A fucking spectacular sensation. "Derek...I..."  
  
"You can do this." Derek exhaled a shuddering breath. "You´re strong." He thumbed Stiles´s kiss-moist lips claiming them to part with a heartbreaking sound of defeat. "I trust you."  
  
_Don´t go. Please don´t._ Desperate Stiles sucked the thumb into his mouth, nipping at the flesh. _Stay with me._  
  
"Sorry. I gotta go," Derek whined, and pulled away. Seconds later he strode off, closing the sliding door behind him.  
  
_Damn you, sourwolf._ Stiles licked his lips, memorizing the _raw_ and _feral_ taste before he slipped back under the covers, sniffing. He remembered the heat and the tenderness of last night. He remembered the fear and loss of the hours before. He still couldn´t fully grasp that Derek was alive. He still couldn´t believe that they had been having sex between those sheets no matter that he was with Malia. He had fucked Derek. Again! A wave of guilt rolled over him. He was bad. He was the worst. He didn´t deserve to be happy. No. Not after the nogitsune and Allison. Not after all he had done. God! He soothed himself by wallowing in Derek´s lingering musky scent and the sensation of the sweat-soaked sheets sticking to his _thoroughly fucked_ skin. Aw. He could jerk off. Yeah. Why not? Why the hell not? Why bother with reality?  
  
He had hardly started when his phone chirped. Spiritless he fumbled for the damn thing. Whoever... Oh. One message from D.H. Holy crap! What now? Seriously, Derek? You said good-bye. Now leave me alone. He opened the message anyway and read something he wouldn´t delay come what may.  
  
What the hell, Derek? Why couldn´t you say so last night? Here with me? He switched his phone off. Okay, you know what? I can be as stubborn as you can. I´ll wait. I´ll keep on fighting. I´ll hold you to those promises you made. Don´t you fucking dare disappoint me.  
  
He rolled out of bed and got dressed. He was ready to kick some asses. He was ready to go on without Derek.  
  
For now.  
  
Out there in the annoyingly sunny world of Beacon Hills he noticed the handcuff was still attached to his wrist, adorned with bits of black fur sticking in its lock. _Holy smoke!_ He gave voice to a shrill and dark chuckle. _I´m so screwed!_


End file.
